Archive for October, 2005

If u can’t beat em join em??

Posted in Uncategorized on October 19, 2005 by Tony Sebastian

I was on my way to the mess yesterday evening… a walk which is not exactly cherished…and each time I go in there the only thought is how appropriate its name is… but like someone said “An army marches on its stomach” I don’t have much of a stomach now and everyone keeps reminding me how thin I am and stuff and I certainly didn’t want to face Mom’s wrath over the phone.. so anyways the point is I hate mess food but I went in all the same. one quick look at my work (a poster I had made earlier that day for the Literary And Debating club about its scrabble competition) would put me in a cheerful mood…. I was quite sure about that…. But it was not meant to be… For lying down on the floor intentionally torn off by someone was my precious poster!!! Alright it took me just one FRF lecture, in which I was anyway looking for something to do, to make it and a little more time to go around putting them up in various messes. But I was totally enraged by the prePOSTERous action if you will…”No problem” I thought and stuck it with some glue I retrieved from my room….

I won’t exactly say mess provides food for thought, but there was no one around to talk to and thoughts were always a good way of taking my mind off the sorry excuse for food in front of me… I started wondering… why would anyone tear my poster off the wall?? Hmmm perhaps the answer to that was rather obvious.. The sad sicko did it simply because he didn’t make it!!

Thinking from a neutral perspective my analytical mind considered… Would I care to glance at or think twice about a poster made by someone else?? There was only one possible answer not really… I would never even think of the effort the guy took to put it up there!! Although I wouldn’t tear it off I wouldn’t appereciate it either…. is that the basic law of nature?? Is man so selfish? It is plainly evident, though some people would like to think differently, that each person wishes the world revolved around him… Each person wishes he would be appereciated…. but do we actually appereciate another person… or would we even pay attentio to others?? I could say yes but then it might take some effort.. coz right at this very moment I’m actually writing this in class where the prof is shouting out loud something which I don’t bother to listen to… It is ofcourse really boring and something that won’t help me in life beyond this sem. But what if I were the prof??? I don’t think it wud be any fun to know that one of my students was not paying the slightest of attention.

When I was in school I had many oppotunities to make speeches. Although it was almost always something written by my Dad which I learned by-heart and presented with an artificial accent, it was a wonderful feeling to be appereciated by the teachers and my friends, with what i hope were sincere compliments… But have I ever listened to a chief guest’s speech at any function?? Yes, but again a difficult one… not unless he was very interesting… Was I ever justified in thinking that people would listen to me? No should be the logical answer…

Iam talking about all this but how can I expect anyone to be reading this word? I do read other people’s blogs… but is that because they are wise enough to keep a blog article to around 500 words?? Are you wondering how many words you have read so far??This is the 600th word!!!
Back to where we were… I’m actually just back from the mess again and yes… again my poster has been mercilessly torn off and no piece of my proud creation exists near by… I guess there is nothing I can do except pehaps a Mark Antony- “Mischief thou art afoot take what course thou wilt”… so may be I ahould get used to the world with selfish and hypocrtic people who make unsincere comments and do not regard another man’s feelings.. I don’t exactly know what Shakespeare meant when he said ‘All the world’s a stage and all people mere players” (I don’t remember the rest of it) But if he is referring to the large scale puppet show that goes on, I guess Iam fully with him.. but then Do I join em if I can’t beat em???oh wait am I not already with them??


GOD – The simple obvious answer!!

Posted in Uncategorized on October 11, 2005 by Tony Sebastian

Two weeks ago, I was in Hyderabad with an old schoolmate of mine. Among the fun and frolic , glitz and glamour, dust and din , a moment to talk was rather hard to come by…. When it finally did , we found ourselves talking about the good ol’ days , the wonderful memories were sweet and painful…Two years ago, even JK Rowling couldn’t have imagined this rendezvous. Vinu was now working with HSBC in Hyderabad and I was doing my Btech in Metallurgical and Materials Engg (MME) from NIT Warangal. Then he asked me a question which was perhaps played in my mind 10 times a day… He asked me “You had the best engg colleges in Cochin welcoming you with open arms, with branches of your choice…. You had a definite aptitude for maths and coding at school…. Now you are doin MME in NITW and your mom and dad are alone at home…WHY NITW??” I merely smiled weakly and shrugged.

But this question, perhaps the most important one in my life so far , must have a better answer than a smile and a shrug….surely!! I who swore a million times in Std XII that I would never again in my life touch anything even remotely related to chemistry, ended up choosing MME at NITW – a subject which I am least interested in , with almost nil job prospects and a million other downsides to it…. It set me thinking…. The WHY was an unanswerable question…. or was it?? The events that led to my ending up at NITW (refer an adventurous admission) could definitely not have been a mere string of coincidences! The answer was simple… and obvious… how could I have ever missed it?? It was all part of GOD’s plan for me…. A quiet moment of recollection and reflection was all it took for me to find that simple and elementary answer – GOD
The “quiet moment” referred to above presented itself on the train journey back to Warangal and it gave me enough time to think back further…. How I had changed from a prize winning kid in catechism to an altar boy……and now surprisingly a mediocre man with not enough faith… the past definitely was better…there weren’t many uncertainties…I just trusted fully and was happy and contented….but now….. It is amazing how this transition is one which affects most people as life progresses…. As one is more “enlightened” he thinks it is fashionable to think that God could never exist….

But isn’t that the greatest ever irony?? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?? For how could one possibly miss God’s hands in love and life, in the dead and decayed, in every single moment of one’s existence?? Men and women, who stare in amazement at man’s wonderful creations and gape in awe, people like us, ‘enlightened minds’ who continue to be surprised and delighted at the latest scientific discoveries…who scream with joy and admiration at how something as small as a nanometre could do so many great things and praise man’s superior intellect find it difficult to accept and understand (or perhaps are too ashamed to admit there exists) a much greater power than himself… Is it so difficult for us to imagine a greater power which designed the whole universe, the planets, the sun, the stars, the living beings, the oceans, the landscapes AND the human intellect? That would definitely be the greatest ever irony!! If the reasoning is that such a power – a God is beyond our reasoning and understanding; wouldn’t that very reasoning be the answer to the question?? THE POWER – GOD IS TOO GREAT TO BE CONTAINED IN OUR MERE BRAINS AND THAT IS PRECISELY WHY HE IS GOD!!!

Who is the enlightened man…. One who thinks the greatest entity is the human brain which can reason and analyse and create wonderful things but can be destroyed by a mere bullet (or much lesser) or the one who believes in the creator of nature, a power beyond destruction, a righteous and ever loving father who guides us along and plots and plans our paths, who is there at every step of life to advice you, warn you and wrap you in his arms , hold you tight and say I love you?? The answer is simple and obvious…..but wait …am I getting a bit too romantic here?? No definitely not… if you would take a moment, a break from the mad rat race and listen to your heart, this voice cannot be missed!!

As kids, we all believed in Santa Claus – a fat man, in a red dress, with a white beard who gave everyone Christmas presents. The bliss we enjoyed was tremendous…. But soon we realised that Santa was not real…. There was no fatherly person who gave us presents and let us sit on his lap and listened to us… It was just a story…. Or was it??? The same Santa who brought us so much cheer in our childhood, who would physically let us sit on his lap and fondle us, who would whisper in our ears loving words of hope and wisdom exists as we grow up as well, but as we grow up so does Santa…. He is no longer physically present but still very much there in our hearts when we need him. He does not just come for Christmas, he is there always. The eternal Santa Claus – GOD our loving father who gives us all presents at every instant of our precious lives!! We would still enjoy the wonderful bliss, if only we were ready to accept it.

And when we do accept it, when we trust in the greatest ever power, when we have enough faith, life suddenly seems more meaningful, everything falls in place, all WHYs seem to vanish forever an instils us with courage, vigour, peace, love and hope….and like David – The Psalmist we would shout out loud “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want”.