RAILWoeS – 1

Posted in funny on March 13, 2006 by Tony Sebastian

To my Bro, Aunt Ann (My Mom’s cousin who I met on orkut!!) and all those people who missed my blogs!! I never knew people cared… until I ran into stuff like this…
What happened I don’t see anymore blogs from you?
Is it because
a.) Life is boring (No it’s not for Noty)
b.) Not enough time due to studies (Nah!)
c.) That Frankenstein really scared you (possible)
d.) Will come back with a vengeance (Yeah that’s the spirit!)
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn… I finally woke up after Mom had broken her previous record for the maximum number of efforts to wake me…hanging on to the bed when mom tries to push me off had been my favourite hobby lately. While most of my college mates were headbanging freaks, I was a bedhanging freak!! I was still just stretching when Mom shouted “Breakfast is ready, come fast Dad and I have been waiting for a long time” ‘‘Is it OK if I don’t brush my teeth Mom??”… Intermingled with indeterminate gibberish I made out the words ‘GO BRUSH FAST!! ’

Somewhere in my mouth I could still taste the delicious New Year cake and dinner from last night… It was January 02 2006, I was all set to get back to NITW after one month of parole… It was a reminder that chicks and chicken still live on the planet! I was going back by train as usual, the tickets were not available which meant Dad would have to ask some contact of his to release the emergency quota… that was normal I had done it once… but as luck would have it, wanting to please his boss, Dad’s driver insisted he would get it done using one of his contacts. I had been apprehensive about the whole thing from the very beginning, not only was my ticket at stake but Naveen’s too, but Dad’s reassurances finally led me to believe it could be done.

I picked up the phone to check the ticket status. You know they aren’t kidding when they say the impossible doesn’t exist… With the tastiest breakfast in the world inside me, my stomach felt uneasy!! “DAAAAAAAAD!!!!! THE EQ HASN’T BEEN RELEASED YET!!!!!” Yes it was true the ticket status said waiting list 88 and 89. I think he said something like “Check again it must be some mistake” I wasn’t listening… Dad picked up the phone and I went into a reverie…

Less than a year ago a Pongal mass bunk a couple of crazy friends and an impulsive decision had left me with a permanent fear of general compartments of trains. Well that is what you would call a cock and bull story… um wait no that is not what you call a cock and bull story… Aaaaaaaaargh!!! Whoever said English was a potent language?? What do you call a true incident which involves a cock and a bull?? Well that’s what it was… To cut a long story short the four and a half hours from Warangal to Vijayawada in the LUGGAGE COMPARTMENT (there was no place in the general compartment) was the most comfortable part of the journey to Chennai. I mean look at all the benefits… I actually got to sit and found that I should always thank God that I was well off unlike my fellow passengers who could afford only one bath a year and a farmer’s cock, um may be I should say rooster (sigh! We live in a bad bad world!!), gave my jeans a trendy cut make that cuts and the bull in the corner of the luggage compartment smiled at me all along telling me that the world was trouble free… Forgive me for not telling you what happened after that… I pulled out of the reverie at that point I really wanted the chicken from the breakfast to stay where it was…

I looked at Dad and I knew… my fears had come true… Dad said “May be they update it only at the station” “I sure hope so Dad!!”… We proceeded to the station with Mom after I bid farewell to Nibbles III (That’s the pillow I hug… Hey what is that expression for?? Pillows are fluffy!! If you are wondering why Nibbles “III”… well Nibbles lost his viscera…Nibbles II was kidnapped by Mom…) Frantic checking of the list on the train didn’t lift my spirits one bit… all I found out was Mallu parents had some obsession with the syllable JO…may be they had some tie up with the stork… I mean Jijo, Jojo, Majo, Rijo, Bijo, Lijo, Sijo, Ajo, Tijo, Fijo and a lot more JOs passed by but no sign of my name!!

Options were analyzed, TTEs were met, decisions were made. The TTE said I would get a berth till Gudur (the train was supposed to reach there at 3:00 AM). Going by Indian train standards I hoped that could be stretched to 5:00. The most awesome thing about Ernakulam Town railway station is that it is quite short. The place where Mom was standing with my heavy bag and where Dad was with the TTE is separated by just around 150 meters. The train was scheduled to leave in two minutes. If those Guinness book people were around you are looking at a record holder. But they weren’t so I have to write to tell you people! Obstacles were many of course- a bag packed with Mom’s love, untied shoe laces, lots of passengers, but in the end I made it with time to spare.

As I got in Dad and the TTE were putting the finishing touches on their deal. Dad whispered “Don’t pay him more than 100 per person”. He got down and I waved. Lines from a speech I had made not more than a month ago came rushing to my mind in a fleeting reinvocation of memory. It was about the citizen’s role in fighting corruption. My own words echoed in my ear as I turned to the TTE with my wallet “The cancer of corruption has been given enough radiations over the years by simple people like you and I, who stood up, fought it and contained it so that today we at least exist here to think about it……. If each man cleans up his own yard the rest of the world will take care of itself” “How much sir?” I asked “200”…



Posted in Uncategorized on December 31, 2005 by Tony Sebastian

This is a poem i worte in my 12th ……. hope all of u hv a GRT NEW YEAR

Gone by has yet another year

Leaving behind memories here

Love laughter and a lot of cheers

and in between some tears

Ribbon – tied and gift wrapped

Until now life has been

Never any threat of getting trapped

The path was paved and clean

The time has come now for us to choose

We are at the dreaded crossroads

No more time to rest or snooze

Or get weighed down by the gross loads

Never should you choose with haste

Coz once is all you’ll get

Remember to follow your taste

Then you won’t ever regret

Entrenched you are in my heart

as deep as deep can be

may fate never tear us apart…..

you are special to me

Why?? coz when a friend like you, really rare

stands along by my side

life is without a single care

it’s a merry and joyful ride

Year 2006 unfolds

with a bit of gloom and gleam

and all the air a stillness holds

with the promise of many an unfinished dream

Everything lovely and nice

is wished to you this year

may it be filled with fun and spice

and joy with near and dear

All good things should come to an end

but our friendship – never my friend

etched in my mind will be you

always as fresh as morning dew

Rejoice celebrate and enjoy

Live your life full of zest

May you cry out “my shore ahoy”

I wish you all the best


Posted in Uncategorized on December 27, 2005 by Tony Sebastian

tonysebastianmccool: hey u got a min?
sreejith_3885: may b y?
tonysebastianmccool: um I jus updated my blog
sreejith_3885: so u wan me to read it?
tonysebastianmccool: well if it wudn b too much truble 😀
sreejith_3885: oh ok stop beggin n gimme the link
tonysebastianmccool: http://notytony.blogspot.com

Yeah! So I had succeeded in leading the sucker to my blog. It is very difficult for a blogger to survive without feedback n comments (at least for me that is!) and even more so if you are in NITW. Well Sreejith is this senior of mine who never hesitates to read stuff and let you know exactly what he thinks of it, you know the types who never mince their words…. FRANKenstein I like to call him… yup the truth can be a monster!

So anyway the post referred to above is the one directly below this…for once I had decided – may be I’ll try to be a lil “funny”… considering the fact that it had taken me very lil time to write it, I loved it. And at the end of the process u cud say I was beaming… I know for sure bcoz the power failed and my grinning teeth was the star light that led my wise mom to me (well just a lil xmas hang over…hope u get the drift). Well where were we…. Yeah so sreejith was reading the post at the moment and I honestly couldn’t wait for a nice compliment….but like I said FRANKenstein might think other wise so u cud say I was a lil anxious

3 bitten off nails and 6 LOLs later

sreejith_3885: crap!
tonysebastianmccool: huh wat? Wat r u talking abt? (optimism never dies!!)
sreejith_3885: ur post on the blog u ass…its totally crappy…u start of with something n go on to totally unrelated things…

To say I was shocked would be the best nominee for the understatement of the year so far… n with just 3 days left in the year it would be a firm favourite with the bookies!! I nearly fell off my chair n I could hear my heart thud (no wait that was just the noisy kid upstairs with his drum)… but surely my knees went weak and the table was subjected to a huge horizontal force (or was it vertical?? oh who cares!!)

tonysebastianmccool: waddaya mean?? (Here I pasted a few sentences that I thought had connected everything)
sreejith_3885: oh but I hardly noticed it… jus gave it a quick read
tonysebastianmccool: oh ok but u stil think its crappy?
sreejith_3885: yup very much

I wanted to ask him “u aint pullin ma leg r ya?” but I knew the reply would b something similar to what Aunt Dahlia would tell Bertie Wooster…. “I hv no intentions of coming anywhere close to that beastly leg of urs!!”. Hope you understand what I’m trying to put across… the affection he has for me is on similar terms with that of an Aunt n nephew…naa not really… I jus added that coz Sreejith is a bit muscular n I’m not and both of us will be in NITW when he is reading this …The pen may be mightier than the sword but the wise guy who made it forgot to mention the sword (or a muscular arm) can hurt pretty bad… Ouch! (experience is a good teacher alright!! )So if you happen to be in the vicinity of NITW next week feel free to walk into room no: 6-2-5 where you’ll probably find this “running” conversation “Hey y r u chasing me? I made u famous sree the world knows u now!!” “yeah I just wanna thank you…I wanna shake your throat!!”

Well the IM window had to be closed quickly I couldn’t stand anymore of this senseless thrashing…Shattered and defeated I managed a quick gtg n bye… I mean I had influenced a couple of ppl and made them start blogging…when they said the idea was something like “if tony can blog anyone can blog” I honestly thought they were kidding …. I sat down to read it again… it all seemed pretty well connected to me n I thought perhaps sree was the only person who would think so… but then came “SPITFIRE” Reshmi Nair and a great fan of my writing skills(don’t ask me why… I hear she is blind…sshhhh!!) and close friend Srav…Their verdict was rather similar of corz they said it was funny all the same…You know girls have a way of sugar coating things….its like a sumptuous feast before the execution…. Well three ppl couldn’t lie at the same time unless there was some conspiracy going on. I don’t think I am that significant to be conspired against, so may be there was something in what they said…

So I re-read it…still I didn’t want to accept I had failed… if their point was that the message was unclear, wasn’t that a bit unfair…. I mean some writings are just meant to be funny P.G Wodehouse for example and others are meant to carry messages… when you try to combine the two, what you get is probably something like Chetan Bhagat’s one night @ the call centre…. I believe his mistake was in combining the two… so being blessed with ahem superior intellect and better analytical faculty I had decided it would just be a funny piece… may be I was wrong and this piece is perhaps another experiment…

So what ensures a successful piece of writing?? Honestly I have no idea…enlighten me wise ppl…oh that’s new!! I never knew my blog profile had a random question…. Curious? Well it reads “If your hand had been turned into a rubber stamp what would it say?” awesome! Even blogspot wants me to stop writing…hmmm I guess the stamp would say “keep smiling n stay happy coz I cant write anymore!” but I ain’t quitting until my hand becomes a rubber stamp 😛

PS: Don’t hesitate to be frank with your comments… I like ‘em that way and sree no abusive words allowed on my blog 😛 …so feel free to be frank and point out my flaws… I hope I haven’t made the same mistake again

“Never make the same mistake twice…. There are so many new ones to make!!!”

Keep smiling… cheerio 😀

18 till I die!!

Posted in Uncategorized on December 14, 2005 by Tony Sebastian

What? You mean you actually bought that book for 80 bucks???” Dad asked and somehow his voice didn’t sound calm. “Um, yeah Dad. Why?” I asked rather defensively. It was the first ever fiction book I had bought in my life… a copy of Chetan Bhagat’s latest book – one night @ the call centre. “How could you spend so much cash on a useless book? You would get that book for 20 bucks. You can spend cash but don’t waste it! “ he said dismissively. 20 bucks??? Dad the book wasn’t written by me!! I had been so happy with buying this book for 80 bucks (the actual MRP is 95) especially when a friend of mine said 300 pages of Chetan Bhagat’s latest is a steal.. Besides everything cost so much these days. For example a Warangal’s pathetic excuse for a chicken burger (if the guy who made the first chicken burger saw it he would commit suicide!) which had been a daily expense cost 15 bucks. Or think about this – after buying the book I actually paid 40 bucks (well 100 if you add the pizza and the soft drink thankfully I don’t have a girl friend so yeah just 100 you could say) to watch 3 hours of tripe (Neal and Nikki for the ignorant)…now THAT was a waste of cash… I mean the whole movie is so horrible and to cap it all they don’t even know how to smooch properly! But I don’t think Dad was in any mood for evaluating the pros and cons of the Warangal chicken burger or how bad the smooching in Neal and Nikki is …“Alright Dad, I’m sorry” I said in the sweetest possible tone and relocated myself to more favourable coordinates. I felt it was a great buy… The reason I bought the book was two fold. One – I had read Chetan Bhagat’s first book ‘Five Point Someone’ and somehow got an idea that I was a bit like the author myself (well at least my GPA was! ) and two – I had never bought a book before and I thought as a lover of the skill of writing, it was about time I paid my tributes.

Anyway back to the point… its not like my Dad is a monster or anything on the contrary he is a pretty cool guy (except for the times his ideas strike me as weird!). I guess it’s just the generation gap or something… I mean come to think of it most people are affected by the same syndrome. Just yesterday two of my Dad’s colleagues were discussing some article written by another colleague in their newsletter. They were talking about it as if it was worse than this very blog (I know its tough but try and imagine the magnitude!!). Just then a third person walked into the room “Aah Mr.Radhakrishnan we were just discussing your article…Excellent I must say” said one of the two “yeah solid points presented in a crisp manner” the other agreed. Boy!! I walked out of the room only some fresh air could help at this juncture. Just two minutes back they were unanimously degrading the article as the worst piece of crap ever written and now… This level of double standards and spite cannot be achieved even if the contents of gossip@NITW were magnified a 1000 times!!!!

Sunday morning came and so did a mass at my hometown church in a long time. Mom and I were walking back with a neighbour (Dad and the other lady’s husband went somewhere). I was totally bored and was scanning the vicinity for chicks (only because I am fascinated by the “why did the chicken cross the road?” question and I feel the way to get to the bottom of the mystery is by watching chicks…after all they say catch ‘em young 😉 ) But 8 Am in the city of Cochin is the wrong place at the wrong time! So I had to listen to the mindless gossip that was shared and the topic inevitably shifted to marriages of relatives. I had had my share of pondering the wisdom of arranged marriages. It was totally weird that these people actually got married to total strangers! But I have recently come to the conclusion that it is actually good because even I will end up with a gal!! Well anyway our neighbour was saying ‘yeah the girl is the calm type you have seen her right?’ ‘yeah she’s beautiful’ mom agreed. ‘how about the groom?’ ‘He is quite good. Has a good job…and he is well settled. But we are not sure whether we should fix it yet’ ‘oh is that so? Why?’ Mom enquired ‘well he has got slightly thick lips’. ‘WHAT?’ Mom exclaimed… yeah way to go mom! Tell her there are more important things than thick lips. Man how shallow could people get!! What was the big deal with thick lips? I even thought they were sexy…at least Angelina Jolie is. oooooooh!! Oops sorry people just got carried away… anyways at least my Mom wasn’t that shallow…she was about to give our neighbour a piece of her mind ‘WHAT??’ mom repeated ‘how can you even think about a marriage if the groom has thick lips??’ she added. ‘HUH??’ the word escaped my mouth involuntarily mom looked at me….’thick lips? Eeeew yuck!!!’ I said. I must stop here because I have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and a voice which tells me I might just stay a bachelor for life!! But you get the point of this article right? Generation gap and all that sort of rot…carry on people but I must sit down for a few moments and lament (sob sob!)… Oh before you go…I must make you laugh at least once…

“Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist line exchange their places”-unknown

Bye people, rock on!!

If u can’t beat em join em??

Posted in Uncategorized on October 19, 2005 by Tony Sebastian

I was on my way to the mess yesterday evening… a walk which is not exactly cherished…and each time I go in there the only thought is how appropriate its name is… but like someone said “An army marches on its stomach” I don’t have much of a stomach now and everyone keeps reminding me how thin I am and stuff and I certainly didn’t want to face Mom’s wrath over the phone.. so anyways the point is I hate mess food but I went in all the same. one quick look at my work (a poster I had made earlier that day for the Literary And Debating club about its scrabble competition) would put me in a cheerful mood…. I was quite sure about that…. But it was not meant to be… For lying down on the floor intentionally torn off by someone was my precious poster!!! Alright it took me just one FRF lecture, in which I was anyway looking for something to do, to make it and a little more time to go around putting them up in various messes. But I was totally enraged by the prePOSTERous action if you will…”No problem” I thought and stuck it with some glue I retrieved from my room….

I won’t exactly say mess provides food for thought, but there was no one around to talk to and thoughts were always a good way of taking my mind off the sorry excuse for food in front of me… I started wondering… why would anyone tear my poster off the wall?? Hmmm perhaps the answer to that was rather obvious.. The sad sicko did it simply because he didn’t make it!!

Thinking from a neutral perspective my analytical mind considered… Would I care to glance at or think twice about a poster made by someone else?? There was only one possible answer not really… I would never even think of the effort the guy took to put it up there!! Although I wouldn’t tear it off I wouldn’t appereciate it either…. is that the basic law of nature?? Is man so selfish? It is plainly evident, though some people would like to think differently, that each person wishes the world revolved around him… Each person wishes he would be appereciated…. but do we actually appereciate another person… or would we even pay attentio to others?? I could say yes but then it might take some effort.. coz right at this very moment I’m actually writing this in class where the prof is shouting out loud something which I don’t bother to listen to… It is ofcourse really boring and something that won’t help me in life beyond this sem. But what if I were the prof??? I don’t think it wud be any fun to know that one of my students was not paying the slightest of attention.

When I was in school I had many oppotunities to make speeches. Although it was almost always something written by my Dad which I learned by-heart and presented with an artificial accent, it was a wonderful feeling to be appereciated by the teachers and my friends, with what i hope were sincere compliments… But have I ever listened to a chief guest’s speech at any function?? Yes, but again a difficult one… not unless he was very interesting… Was I ever justified in thinking that people would listen to me? No should be the logical answer…

Iam talking about all this but how can I expect anyone to be reading this word? I do read other people’s blogs… but is that because they are wise enough to keep a blog article to around 500 words?? Are you wondering how many words you have read so far??This is the 600th word!!!
Back to where we were… I’m actually just back from the mess again and yes… again my poster has been mercilessly torn off and no piece of my proud creation exists near by… I guess there is nothing I can do except pehaps a Mark Antony- “Mischief thou art afoot take what course thou wilt”… so may be I ahould get used to the world with selfish and hypocrtic people who make unsincere comments and do not regard another man’s feelings.. I don’t exactly know what Shakespeare meant when he said ‘All the world’s a stage and all people mere players” (I don’t remember the rest of it) But if he is referring to the large scale puppet show that goes on, I guess Iam fully with him.. but then Do I join em if I can’t beat em???oh wait am I not already with them??

GOD – The simple obvious answer!!

Posted in Uncategorized on October 11, 2005 by Tony Sebastian

Two weeks ago, I was in Hyderabad with an old schoolmate of mine. Among the fun and frolic , glitz and glamour, dust and din , a moment to talk was rather hard to come by…. When it finally did , we found ourselves talking about the good ol’ days , the wonderful memories were sweet and painful…Two years ago, even JK Rowling couldn’t have imagined this rendezvous. Vinu was now working with HSBC in Hyderabad and I was doing my Btech in Metallurgical and Materials Engg (MME) from NIT Warangal. Then he asked me a question which was perhaps played in my mind 10 times a day… He asked me “You had the best engg colleges in Cochin welcoming you with open arms, with branches of your choice…. You had a definite aptitude for maths and coding at school…. Now you are doin MME in NITW and your mom and dad are alone at home…WHY NITW??” I merely smiled weakly and shrugged.

But this question, perhaps the most important one in my life so far , must have a better answer than a smile and a shrug….surely!! I who swore a million times in Std XII that I would never again in my life touch anything even remotely related to chemistry, ended up choosing MME at NITW – a subject which I am least interested in , with almost nil job prospects and a million other downsides to it…. It set me thinking…. The WHY was an unanswerable question…. or was it?? The events that led to my ending up at NITW (refer an adventurous admission) could definitely not have been a mere string of coincidences! The answer was simple… and obvious… how could I have ever missed it?? It was all part of GOD’s plan for me…. A quiet moment of recollection and reflection was all it took for me to find that simple and elementary answer – GOD
The “quiet moment” referred to above presented itself on the train journey back to Warangal and it gave me enough time to think back further…. How I had changed from a prize winning kid in catechism to an altar boy……and now surprisingly a mediocre man with not enough faith… the past definitely was better…there weren’t many uncertainties…I just trusted fully and was happy and contented….but now….. It is amazing how this transition is one which affects most people as life progresses…. As one is more “enlightened” he thinks it is fashionable to think that God could never exist….

But isn’t that the greatest ever irony?? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?? For how could one possibly miss God’s hands in love and life, in the dead and decayed, in every single moment of one’s existence?? Men and women, who stare in amazement at man’s wonderful creations and gape in awe, people like us, ‘enlightened minds’ who continue to be surprised and delighted at the latest scientific discoveries…who scream with joy and admiration at how something as small as a nanometre could do so many great things and praise man’s superior intellect find it difficult to accept and understand (or perhaps are too ashamed to admit there exists) a much greater power than himself… Is it so difficult for us to imagine a greater power which designed the whole universe, the planets, the sun, the stars, the living beings, the oceans, the landscapes AND the human intellect? That would definitely be the greatest ever irony!! If the reasoning is that such a power – a God is beyond our reasoning and understanding; wouldn’t that very reasoning be the answer to the question?? THE POWER – GOD IS TOO GREAT TO BE CONTAINED IN OUR MERE BRAINS AND THAT IS PRECISELY WHY HE IS GOD!!!

Who is the enlightened man…. One who thinks the greatest entity is the human brain which can reason and analyse and create wonderful things but can be destroyed by a mere bullet (or much lesser) or the one who believes in the creator of nature, a power beyond destruction, a righteous and ever loving father who guides us along and plots and plans our paths, who is there at every step of life to advice you, warn you and wrap you in his arms , hold you tight and say I love you?? The answer is simple and obvious…..but wait …am I getting a bit too romantic here?? No definitely not… if you would take a moment, a break from the mad rat race and listen to your heart, this voice cannot be missed!!

As kids, we all believed in Santa Claus – a fat man, in a red dress, with a white beard who gave everyone Christmas presents. The bliss we enjoyed was tremendous…. But soon we realised that Santa was not real…. There was no fatherly person who gave us presents and let us sit on his lap and listened to us… It was just a story…. Or was it??? The same Santa who brought us so much cheer in our childhood, who would physically let us sit on his lap and fondle us, who would whisper in our ears loving words of hope and wisdom exists as we grow up as well, but as we grow up so does Santa…. He is no longer physically present but still very much there in our hearts when we need him. He does not just come for Christmas, he is there always. The eternal Santa Claus – GOD our loving father who gives us all presents at every instant of our precious lives!! We would still enjoy the wonderful bliss, if only we were ready to accept it.

And when we do accept it, when we trust in the greatest ever power, when we have enough faith, life suddenly seems more meaningful, everything falls in place, all WHYs seem to vanish forever an instils us with courage, vigour, peace, love and hope….and like David – The Psalmist we would shout out loud “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want”.

LOVE – Loss Of Valuable Energy??

Posted in Uncategorized on August 29, 2005 by Tony Sebastian

Two days ago I had a rather interesting discussion with an old friend of mine – a sensible female and just for the record I belong to the group of people who think that that class is a rarity).The crux of our chat was about love, its various manifestations and how different people think differently about love. Ofcourse love here is synonymous only with attraction of the opposite sexes and does not conside filial and sympathetic affections.My friend was telling me how she believed in the so called ‘true love’ concept, that it was the most divine feeling ever – a state so wonderful that it could not be defined.Love aroused the poet in a person, made everything look rosier, made you chirpier , happier and the mere sight of the object of your admiration took you to cloud 999…Love was so beautiful, so lovely , so addictive!!when in love you don’t care about food or work or play..you are content & replete with joy.
But then pops up the simple question – don’t drugs do the same thing?I have never tried it myself and never want to either and Iam sure most of my readers would agree that it is a monstrous curse to mankind. Why do we feel very differently about two things which function exactly in the same way??Drugs give you lovely dreams,it holds you with your magical powers and in the end leaves you crippled!!
I can hear millions of lovers all over the world screaming “BLASPHEMY!!!!” and would say that even thinking what i said is abominable. Iam no grinch but what i said just now was totally based on my personal experiences which have been disastrous to say the least.I loved truly and i know it. It was definitely not a mere crush.She was not the prettiest but i have to say she was special and extra nice.I was infatuated for a good two years before i had the courage to tell her..I admit I acted like a total loser but I still maintain she had no reason to turn me down…but love doesn’t listen to reason..how else could anyone explain the fact that I started writing weird stuff and my mind was fully occupied by her and Iwould give up anything to see her??And believe me the turn down was awful!!It led to an inevitable crash and burn and it took me an eternity to recover and I swore to myself – I’d never fall in love again.
But as things would turn out, here I was discussing with ‘her’ best friend about love..and how guys are always more into physical stuff and don’t consider relations seriously..I know she is right I tell myself half the time I want a girlfriend.The major chunk of this could be attributed to the new insanely desperate campus where the female sex is an endangered species and the pretty ones are nearly extinct.What i wanted now was a short fling, zero commitment , total fun!
But isn’t that the most unethical and hideous thought ever? The romantic in me gives me an emphatic yes. It is against my beliefs and character. The world that I think I want is one where mirror shattering material like me would never have even a semblance of a chance.
It is obvious that I’m confused because I was, and still am, distraught because a guy I know, whose hate club would break all membership records, has a girlfriend -the only reason I can think of is that he looks good (the reader may be tricked into believing that I’m being biased and jealous here, but I’m sure the hundreds of members of the above mentioned clandestine club woul be equally vociferous in echoing my sentiments!). I,who clapped and cheered like a kid when i watched the climax of shrek (where princess Fiona changes into an ogre)could definitely not be sane if I’m talking of flings!The same I who knows very well that I can never be a flirt in real life and that I’m always sincere and committed to relations cannot be serious.Wouldn’t my conscience rise up against me and slap me in the face??It most definitely would.
A fling is but the easy alternative a person chooses when he wants the fringe benefits only and not the responsibilities.It is real selfish and a SIN. Isn’t that why it is so attractive??May be i just went slightly off track here because this definitely doesn’t constitute love!
But why does love still captivate me?Why do i secretly wish I would fall in love though I know the path is not laden just with roses but huge thorns as well?? It is definitely not an integral part of live at this point in time…I know my parents want to and will choose my life partner… I look at my parents and see the happiest couple I’ve ever known and they definitely weren’t in love until their parents arranged their marriage.But the magic of love still remains the most wonderful feeling etched in my heart..i still would say true love is no mere dream..it might just take some people longer to find it.
The reasoning voice will always say love is a waste of time,money and resources…the romantic one will say it makes life beautiful…
A wondrous garden??A bottle of wine??A necessary evil??A hidden trap?
The arguement will continue and I would agree that love makes the world go round!!!