Archive for Engineering

Life’s a B.tech!! ;)

Posted in funny, Published with tags , , , , on May 8, 2007 by Tony Sebastian

“who says nothing is impossible?

I’ve done nothing all my life!”

-Found on a t-shirt sported by a NITian

It was a lovely October morning, the first rays of sun filtered through the leaves fluttering gently in the slow breeze, shining down on the peaceful populace below, the clouds strewn about in happy confusion like cotton candy on a smiling child’s face. The grass with fresh dew drops was an emerald chain with tiny embedded diamonds. The lark was on its wing, the snail was on its thorn and yours truly was snoring away to glory! 😀

WHOA! I can hear people say… or is it WTF? I can see the more hyperactive and/or sincere reader jump out of his seat, and there’s a lawyer getting ready to sue me. And yeah I know the question on all of your minds, the most painfully obvious one… “Tony, how on earth do you know the nature was all hunky-dory if you were licking Lindt in lullaby land? “ Simple, I don’t 😀 but with a bit of pleading, the sun, the leaves, the clouds (took a little bit longer there. Apparently clouds don’t like cotton candy, but nothing that a 500 rupee not couldn’t settle 😉 Sigh the pains I go through to give you classy litter-ature!), the breeze, the grass, the snail and the lark have all agreed to corroborate my story, so if you got a lawsuit honey, I say bring it on!

Well before this endeavour of mine meanders hopelessly off course, its my duty of course to bring us back to where we were n continue with what I’m trying to say. After all, they say time is money and I really shouldn’t waste so much of yours by making you read stuff that has nothing to do with anything. Although, that being said, I don’t think time or money is your most pressing problem at this stage. If you are still reading this, I strongly recommend you visit a shrink. Oh boy this is fun, I get to subject you to torture and I also get to abuse you! Why on earth didn’t I blog for so long! Alright alright, Don’t scream, I’ll get back! Sheesh can’t a guy do a little bit of um er ok please don’t throw stuff now, that’s really mean.

So where were we? Oh yeah diamond clouds & cotton candy on grass…ahem isn’t that what I said? Oh forget it! The important thing is, I was sleeping. As I slowly dug the sand out of my eyes and ventured to cleanse my dentures, the time was 9:55 AM. Nair was already getting hyper, and when I returned, he was positively screaming! “Dude its 10:05! Let’s go! “ said he. “Why what’s the hurry?” said I. “um we’re late? “ “ oh! What about the 8-10 class?” I enquired. “Cancelled”. “Nice! God bless Ravindar. Ok lets go half an hour late its Elmer Fudd’s class” ( for the uninitiated Elmer Fudd is the nickname for a department prof who looks like, well, Elmer Fudd! I mean it would be pretty stupid if we nicknamed him Elmer Fudd and he looked like someone else right? C’mon people! Please be a little sharper! Yup! Blogging is fun 😀 ) “ Are you out of your mind? “ Nair said. “hey it’s a bet. Loser’s pay at Nescafe” I said…

This is the way we go to class, go to class, go to class, this is the way we go to class so early in the…. Um… afternoon 😀

Fudd let us in at 10:30AM with a reminder that we weren’t there to watch a football match. Duh! I’d take my seat half an hour before the preview show if it were a football match! As proficient as the profs were at putting us to sleep, today was different, I was ROTFL!! Coz this was on the board.


Yes in bright white on a green board was written ASS ASS and BUTT JOINT!!! People who think I’m bluffing can check Ranjana’s notes to confirm or just ask her she’ll tell you the chapter, page, figure number and anything else you need to know. Besides it isn’t that improbable because according to the prof, ASS stands for Austenitic Stainless Steel. I don’t care I’m ROTFL.

Up next was negative (M.Hanumantha Rao I think, but well he’s got a black face, and white hair…photographic negative, you get the drift) And if you think we’re mean kids who just like to insult our profs with cruel nicknames, you are partially right. But it is more often than not necessary when you consider insanely, ridiculously long gult names!! Sample this… G.V.S Nageshwar Rao (I’m not expandin GVS coz I’ll exceed the character limit on this blog!) or GHSLV Prasad Rao. Sigh! And people think mallus have weird names! Oh wait, *scratches head* mallus do have weird names! I mean think of the greatest politician alive in Kerala who on forming a party on his own found it apt to name it Democratic Indira Congress (Kerala) or for short DICK!! Since he’s the leader, I guess we can call him DICKHEAD!! And the ridiculous obsession for the syllable JO is beyond me, I mean AJO , BIJO, CIJO, DIJO, EIJO, FIJO, GIJO, HIJO, IJO,JIJO, KIJO, LIJO, MIJO, NIJO, OIJO, PIJO, QIJO, RIJO, SIJO, TIJO, UIJO, VIJO, WIJO, XIJO, YIJO, ZIJO are all probable names of mallus you know! Oh and you can also mostly substitute JO with JI and get names of other mallus you know! And take for example Lousy! Yup Lousy is the name of a mallu gal! or how about Sissy? Man! why on earth are parents so cruel?? You think that is bad, well I just saved the best (or worst) for the last; this is the name of my friend’s friend who happens to be an unfortunate girl – Titty Thomas. No comments.

Enough meandering for a post I suppose, back to the topic ( if such a thing exists anymore on this post!). so well Negative walked in and promptly put us all to sleep, however only to awaken us with this “ My specimen is only 1cm long, so even if I quench it in oil, I cannot attain complete hardening!” ROTFLMAO!!! I could visualise next day’s newspaper headline “ Negative’s specimen trumps Fudd’s Butt!” This was the same prof who in last weeks lab class, checked my sketches and commented (I swear on my honour I’m quoting him verbatim) “ This is ok but next time, you ask the girls to show you their specimens, so that you can compare your specimen with theirs and understand the difference. If they say no, no we can’t show it to you, tell them I told you to ask and then they will show you their specimens”. No comments. And letters to the author seeking explanation or description of any kind of specimens will not be entertained 😉

By the time I stopped laughing the class ended and we got to know that the lab in the afternoon was cancelled. 10 Friends episodes, coffee at Nescafe (during which it was calculated that an engg student studies approximately 5 minutes, yes that’s right 5 minutes on an average a day! Priya Venkateshan said it perfectly -Engineering is a four year holiday!) , dinner at the dhaba and a coupla games of FIFA on LAN later, I joined Vibhu and Nair as they were trying to finish NFS Carbon which had arrived the day before. “dude don’t we have a lab end sem exam tomorrow? “ Nair asked… everyone was perplexed for a moment before Sarvesh came up with the inspirational winner “ One exam isn’t going to alter the course of my destiny! “

Onwards to Darius and the canyon duel!

“I’ve always thought there were two kinds of people, those who went screaming to their exams and those who went silently… then i met a third kind….”

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